BIG QUESTIONS SERIES-The Homilies of St Asinus

When leaders and communities get divorced

A series of reflections on the tragedy of separation that pastors, missionaries, staff, and their ministries experience when they have to part ways. While it speaks to any kind of separation, the series focuses on those times when the individual must leave because of their own bad choices…whatever those may have been. Admonition, comfort, and, most of all, perspective from one who’s been there.

An Introduction

Jilted 1

An introduction to the series. What is Jilted, why is the Saintly Mule talking about it, and why does the Church need to hear it?

It Hurts Worse When Churches Do It

Jilted 2

Why must churches and Christian organizations “get rid of” people? And why does it feel like a betrayal of their mission when they do? 

I Didn't See That Coming!

Jilted 3

How do you deal with the unexpected consequences that come with a destructive choice? When the cost of the choice is so much higher than you could have every predicted? What do you do when your public image gets shredded?

#Metoo and the Culture of Discarded Leaders

Jilted 4

#Metoo versus the Disposable Celebrity? How do we navigate the rights of the accuser to be heard and the rights of the accused to due process?  What does Christianity say to victims and perpetrators of evil, about redemption, restoration, reconciliation? How does the Church subvert the culture of discarded leaders?

What Do Wrecked People Need from the Church?

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What do people who’ve wrecked their lives really need from the Church? How can the Church really help? Some things are easily identified—financial help, counseling, family support. The single most important thing, however, may not be so obvious, but without this thing, it’s almost impossible for a disgraced person to recover a livable life.

Who Speaks for Me? Or Why the Church Needs Advocates

Jilted 6

When leaders make mistakes and their lives fall apart, who is charged with the task of walking with them, learning their story, and speaking on their behalf? Most broken leaders must represent themselves. And since “only a fool represents himself,” the end is predictable and excessively tragic. Where are the advocates?

What about All Those People I Hurt? or Living with Guilt

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How do you deal with the guilt of having hurt others? How do you go forward in life with that heavy weight sitting on your conscience? What can be done…what can’t? Does the gospel have anything to say to the person who feels crushing shame for pain they’ve caused in their past?

Sorry, Not Sorry or When are Repentance and Forgiveness Real?

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How do you know that someone has really repented? How do you know that someone has truly forgiven you? Which is supposed to happen first? What’s supposed to happen after? The Saintly Mule considers the meaning of repentance and forgiveness, what they really look like, and what it means to for victims and perpetrators to move toward reconciliation.

Hearing the Bullet or When You’re Waiting for Life to Fall Apart

Jilted 9

Are you standing on the edge? Are you close to an addictive, depressive, or obsessive choice destroying your life? Don’t feel like you can stop it? St. Asinus offers a somber warning and a little advice to those who can hear the bullet coming.

Rocks and Hard Places or When Trapped in Ministry

Jilted 10

Too hurt to move; too hurt to stay. How do we respond when trapped in a situation we cannot control? What choice remains when we feel like we have no choice? The Holy Ass reflects on St. Peter’s unusual invitation to those trapped in grisly situations – Lean into it!

To Stay or Go - The Choice You Still Get to Make

Jilted 11

What happens to the spouse of the church leader who blows everything up? They suffer all the consequences but get little of the attention. What are they to do? Continuing his homily from I Peter 2-3, the Saintly Mule probes the options available to the forgotten spouse—Should they Stay or Go?

How a Lawn Ornament Can Save Your Life

Jilted 12

Last episode in the Jilted series for now, the Holy Ass tells his most personal story yet about his journey with loss and redemption and answers the question “what’s up with the lawn ornament?”